Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
