My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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