I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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