he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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