Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
True college students do jello shots in the library
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