Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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