Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
