we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize