420 ftw
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
