I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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