remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
