Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
