I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
