He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
