she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize