It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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