I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just tell him i said nine months
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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