Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
