I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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