lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
