at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
