like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize