sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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