So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
