i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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