I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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