3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
