Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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