You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
