last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize