quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
