The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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