Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
