remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
