DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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