Im at strip club and am horny
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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