so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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