Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bigPapa2u hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

Fav 13 9070 967
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...

Fav 65 7852 1641
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

Fav 15 4369 5277
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

Fav 42 9034 5323
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend

Fav 48 4486 3242
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.

Fav 4 2120 1602
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

Fav 1 1359 740
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.

Fav 1 88 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia

Fav 0 12 58
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT