I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
