i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
