...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
