Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize