There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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