Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
