i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
