my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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