The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
