we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize