Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
