Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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