Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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