Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
