you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize