i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize