I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
