Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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