What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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