She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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