No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
