So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
