she looked like the before picture.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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