She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
