so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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