My nipple is on Facebook.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
