It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just invented taco cereal.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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