I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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