Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Small penises have feelings too.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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