I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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